


Washio and Asakura: Briar Rose

by JoAsakura



Category: Gatchaman
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-19
Updated: 2009-11-19
Packaged: 2017-10-03 09:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoAsakura/pseuds/JoAsakura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another one from the vaults. Originally created for the Gatch mailing list. First done in.. 2002? 2003?  Somewhere in there. It's been archived at the Gatchfanfic.com since 07, but I think it's older than that. Originally intended to be part of a larger series. Somewhere in all the boxes prior to my move there exists partial notes for "W&A: Cathedral" and W&A: Tin Man". This is easily one of the most fave fics I have EVER done. <br/>~~<br/>Their names are Ken and Joe. They're private detectives, hired by some beautiful broad named Jun to find her father, a scientist named Hakase Nambu. And with the help of a cabbie named Ryu and their office boy Jinpei, they're going to do just that. Provided their own incompetence doesn't kill them first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Introduction

The year is 2066, nearly four years after the end of a brutal, decade-long war between the European Coalition, led by the nation of Huntworl, and the Asian-Ameris Alliance. Although the Alliance nations were nominally the winners of the war, it has taken its toll on the entire world.

The last few years of the war were desperate ones on both sides. But whereas the Alliance resorted to building armored suits and remotely-controlled mecha, the Coalition did what had been considered unthinkable. It created bioengineered lifeforms, many human in appearance but ruthless in temperament, to throw against their enemies. When even that failed, the Coalition began taking those who had been too weak to fight, or those soldiers considered too badly injured to continue and remaking them. Coalition Cyborgs in those last years were responsible for more deaths of Alliance troops than any other single unit during the war. To the civilian populace, the simple mention of the word was enough to conjure horrifying images of baby-eating, mechanical monsters. One elite battalion was sent to the European theater in a last ditch attempt to stop the Coalition. The newsfeed images of the Red Impulse unit, led by the now legendary Kentaro Washio, as they stormed the Huntworlian Palace and took the head of the prime minister - Kerry Beoluke, became icons of the war. Sadly, so did the images of the squad being cut down by the prime minister's cyborg guards before Red Impulse's reinforcements could arrive. But by then, with Beoluke's death, it was all over but for the shouting.

The United Nations was reinstituted as a measure to ensure the world would never fall to such divisiveness again, as a ruling council of nations. To this end, a fifty year moratorium was placed on the technologies used in the latter days, and monitored by a special arm of the UN...the ISO. Special interest, of course was placed on the European tech. All information and examples of the bioengineering technology and cybernetics was ordered destroyed or locked in UN vaults. (In many cases, however, even harmless technologies were made inaccessible to the public.)

That first year, hundreds of cybernetically enhanced Coalition troops were rounded up and slaughtered on live newsfeed in the name of world peace.

Out of the ruins of the world's cities, new ones now rise, phoenix-like. The greatest of these is New Utoland City, almost 50% completed in only the past few years, and the new home of the UN. The gleaming glass, steel, and stone towers loom above the skeletal remains of the old city, colloquially called "Oldtown" by its inhabitants. Welcome to the city. Enjoy the ride.

_______________________________________________________________________   
Washio &amp; Asakura: PI // Casefile 1: Briar Rose

**The name's Washio. Ken Washio. I'm a PI. Got a little office in the seedy end of New Utoland City, right on the fringe between Oldtown and bright lights. That's okay. I like things seedy. It's Friday, 10 p.m., do you know where your partner is? Mine's staggering into the office right now, preceded by the chime of dogtags and smelling of cheap whiskey and cheaper cigarettes. Backlit by the neon night, he looks like someone I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.**

Joe closed the office door behind him, squinting at the flashing neon go-go bar sign as Ken stuffed the little tape recorder into the desk.

"Well?" He asked gruffly.

"Well, what?" Ken looked around nervously.

"Any calls?" Joe looked exasperated as he stubbed a butt out in the commemorative frog ashtray they'd gotten on their last case. It sat watching them with its beady little glass eyes from on top of the TV that hadn't worked since they got the office. Scowling, he watched the smoke curl up from the frog's little nostrils. "And where the hell is that kid you hired to keep the place neat?"

"If you didn't keep leaving empty beer cans all over the place.. and, no, we haven't gotten any calls." Ken pushed the smoking frog further away.

It was then that there was the sharp click of high heels in the hall. The silhoutte of a woman showed through the thick glass of the door emblazoned with their names.

****

**I knew it as soon as I saw her. Beautiful dames are nothing but trouble. It's a direct proportion. The more beautiful, the more trouble. And she was trouble with a capital T. She was wearing a little rose pink suit that didn't leave much to the imagination. With her white gloves and go-go boots and her little pink hat, she looked like the princess of Mod high society. And then, she blinked those huge green eyes.**

"Oh for crying out loud, Ken." Joe whacked him on the back of his head as he got up.

"Owww! Whadya do that for?"

"You were talking to yourself again, fool." Joe ran his fingers back through his long hair in a quick attempt at grooming as the woman in pink stood before them, clutching her little white Chanel bag.

"You have to help me" she said softly, her enormous eyes brimming with tears.

They nearly fell over each other trying to give her the box of kleenex. "We don't get your kind around here much, miss..ah I didn't catch your name?" Ken stammered.

She blew her nose delicately. "I didn't throw it. May I sit down?"

"Um, sure" Ken gestured to the seat Joe had vacated, as Joe sat on the desk.

She looked up at the two of them. "My name is Jun Nambu. You have to help me find my father. I'm fabulously wealthy. I can pay you anything you want.." She looked away and sighed heavily, fingering the chunky pearls at her neck.

"Anything?" A smile began to slide across Joe's face before it was Ken's turn to smack him on the back of the head.

"Dammit, man, she's a client! Stop thinking with your dick for once." Ken whispered.

"Yeah, yeah.." Joe lit a cigarette. "What I'd like to know, and no offense Miss Nambu, is if you're so stinking rich, what're doing here?"

"Joe..." hissed Ken before Jun held up a small, white-gloved hand with a picture of herself and a middle-aged, mustachioed Japanese man.

"No, Mr. Washio, it's a valid question. Do you two know who my father is?"

Ken and Joe looked at each other and shrugged.

"My father is Kozoburo Nambu. He's a brilliant scientist, just won the Nobel Prize. But, he's a little..odd. He's been working on something very top secret for the government. Yesterday, we were supposed to meet for lunch at his favorite restaurant, but he never showed up. I.. I'm afraid an underworld organization may have taken him..SOB!" She daubed at her face with the tissue, taking care not to smear her mascara.

"Maybe this is a job for the ISO or something, Miss Nambu." Ken looked at his partner nervously.

"NO! Ahem...no. You see, fate led me to you."

"Fate?" Joe arched an eyebrow, as he stuffed the cigarette in the frog.

"Yes. You see, when I got home and I couldn't find him, my poodle Snoogums jumped on the table like I always tell her not to do. You know she's a naughty little dog. Nonono I always tell her.."

"And?"

"Oh. Well, the phone book fell open to the page with your names on it." Jun's eyes wandered to the dust-covered TV screen in the corner.

"See, Joe. I told you it was a good idea to advertise in the yellow pages." Ken leaned back smugly.

"And then she threw up on the page." Her eyes never left the dusty glass as she smoothed her hair

"oh."

"Please. I'll pay 500 UtoYen a day plus expenses. Can you help me?" She leaned forward in the chair and both men's eyes widened.

"Yeah. Sure." Ken mumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

**We started out asking her if there'd been a ransom demand, if her father had any enemies, you know, all the standard questions. She said her old man ate lunch every day at the Kats Klub - a real swanky establishment uptown. We told her we'd start there and we'd meet her at the Doc's lab later on. I put my handy Swiss Army knife in my pocket and told Joe to get a move on.***

Ken stuffed the little recorder in his pocket as Joe stormed down the stairs. "Goddammit, Ken. Why the fuck do you keep hiding my car keys?"

"Hey, I told you not to leave them in the frog."

"I didn't put them in the fucking frog, you jerk." They walked up the block to Joe's car as a light rain began to fall. Joe hugged his heavy leather jacket closer as Ken dug his hands into the pockets of the battered trenchcoat he wore. Carefully, Ken stepped over a smelly, drooling man passed out next to the newspaper kiosk, and shook his head. "Damn whack junkies.." Joe leaned over the man to read the headline. In giant red letters, it blared "Purple Masque Gang Strikes Again. Six Million stolen from First Bank of New Jork" Joe laughed sourly. "Gangsters, man..."

As they approached the car, Joe broke into a run. "Aww, No! Not again!!" He kicked the flat tires. "Goddammit, Ken... If I find out that you had something to do with this, I'll break both your kneecaps."

"Um, TAXI??!" Ken waved to a big yellow cab as it rolled up to the curb. The driver motioned to them and they got in. He was a big man, by anybody's standards, with a broad, smiling face. "Hey there! Name's Ryu. Where can I be taking ya tonight, boss?"

Ken leaned forward. The cab smelled of incense, doritos and beer. A slew of "lil' trees" hung from the rearview mirror. "The Kats Klub on Twenty-second?"

Ryu's smile glinted gold and he laughed heartily. He cranked up the all-reggae radio station and floored it, slamming Ken into the back seat. "No problem, man!"

Joe glared at him. "What? Did you tell him 'on twenty-second' or 'IN twenty seconds?' Hm?" Ken was beyond hearing him though, plastered to the windows and watching the pedestrians dive for cover as the cabbie shot up on the sidewalk.

"We're gonna die" he whispered feebly.

****

**The Kats Klub appeared before us like a beautiful apple. But you can't tell a book by it's neon-lit, jeweled cover, and I thought this apple was rotten to the core. I gave the cabbie a ten-spot and told him to hang tight for us. My partner and I watched as gorillas in green tuxedos ushered in the rich and richer. You could imagine my surprise when a pink roadster pulled up, and Jun Nambu stepped out of it, dressed to the nines.**

Joe grabbed Ken by the tie and yanked him around. "Isn't that our client?" he hissed.

"Yeah, yeah..leggo!!" Ken slapped Joe's hand away and rubbed his neck. "That really hurts.."

"Well, are we just gonna stand here?"

"No. Let's go check on our little Miss Nambu.."

They crossed the street, dodging the oncoming push of traffic. Jun looked up, saw them and began bouncing up and down, waving.

Ken and Joe shrugged at each other. When they reached the door, the huge green-suited doorman glared down his nose at them. "I'm sorry, but there is a dress code at the Kats Klub."

Ken looked down at his rumpled trenchcoat, rumpled trousers, rumpled shirt and pizza-stained tie. He looked at Joe, scruffy in his t-shirt, leather jacket and ripped jeans. He looked at Jun in her pearls, pink-sequined slipdress and white platform shoes. "Well, at least I've got a tie?" he asked hopefully.

Jun giggled. "Rolf, puh-leeze.... They're with me." She hugged the doorman's arm. He swallowed hard and looked down. "Um..alright Miss Nambu. We'll..um..get them properly attired.."

******  
**I felt like a penguin and looked like a waiter after we got done with the tuxes. I watched as Joe took the monkey suit and came back, still wearing his jacket over the dress shirt and bow tie. 'Of course' I thought. He was packing heat, like he always did, hidden in that worn out old leather jacket. **

"I feel like a geek." Joe muttered as the maitre'd led them to Jun's regular table. Waitresses with matching blond bobs in little red outfits with fur trimmed boots and gloves, wearing red blooms behind their ears, threaded around the candle-lit tables ringing the curtained stage.

Jun's table was near the stage, graced with a lavish bowl of white roses. They sat and Joe picked up a menu. "Oh, fuck. It's French."

Ken squinted at the menu. The waitress came by and Jun placed her order fluently. The waitress then patiently stared at Ken and Joe. "Just gimme a steak, rare" Joe muttered as he handed back the menu. Ken smirked. "Ahem. I'll have the Patty dey foisy grass" he said smugly.

Waiting for dinner, Jun ordered a magnum of Korbel. "I thought you boys could use my help." She giggled. "Y'know..I've always fantasized about being a private..dick, is it?" She giggled again and pursed her candy-pink lips.

"Uh.." Ken watched the sequins on her dress shimmy as she laughed.

"Miss Nambu, I think you're putting yourself in an awful lot of danger.." Joe's sentence trailed off as he downed another glass of champagne and watched the sequins with Ken.

As the food came to the table, the curtain went up. A green-tuxedoed man sat at a white piano and the footlights began to glow softly.

In the dim light, Ken stared at what looked like garnished dog food on his plate.

The pianist began to play as a husky woman's voice tinged with a German accent filled the room. A tall, impossibly slender blonde in strapless purple satin slithered onto the stage with a microphone and draped herself over the piano.

"I'm in the mood for love.." she sang as Joe's fork slipped out of his hand into the mixed vegetables.


	3. Chapter 3

**She was a long, cold drink of water. An ice goddess in purple satin. A dame like that takes your breath away, and then rips out your heart and plays jai-lai with it. Just the kind my partner has a weak spot for. She worked the room like a pro, and didn't miss a trick. There was more to this one than met the eye.**

"Who is that?" he whispered to Jun.

She leaned towards him, "That's Kat. She's the main attraction."

"You know her?"

Jun giggled again. "Of course, silly. She has a 'thing' for my father. She usually eats lunch with him."

Ken looked up from his parsleyed brown lump. An idea slowly raised its head, like the loch ness monster, through his champagne-fogged brain.

When the number was over, Kat came to their table. She didn't walk precisely, she sashayed rather, her pale hair falling about her like fine silk.

Ken glanced over at Joe, who looked like someone just whacked in the head with a large hammer.

"Jun, dahling." She purred. "So good to see you. Where is your father, eh? And who are your two delicious little friends?" She poured herself into an empty seat as a waitress appeared with a martini and a cigarette in a long holder.

"Oh, Kat.. my father is.." Jun started. Joe leaned forward with his lighter, cutting her off.

"Her father was unable to join us tonight. I'm Joe. Joe Asakura. Miss...?"

Kat laughed as she accepted the light. "Kat is just fine, dahling."

Ken's burgeoning idea finally broke the surface. "Do you know Doctor Nambu well, Miss Kat?"

She laughed again. "Only that he is a dear man, and a charming luncheon companion, Mr.?" She held out her hand.

"Washio. Ken Washio." He shook her hand brusquely. She looked startled, then smiled and got up, martini untouched.

"Ah. A relation, perhaps, of the famous Kentaro Washio, the Red Impulse?" Her violet eyes glittered in the dim light. Ken started to answer when she laughed and raised her hand to silence him.

"I expect I'll be seeing more of you gentlemen, ja?"

"If I have anything to do with it.." Joe stood as well. He was more than a little surprised to discover she was taller than he was. Smiling, he took her hand and kissed it.

"Then I bid you all a gutes nacht. I must go on for my next number." With that, she glided back to the stage.

****

**We dragged my partner out like a dog on a leash. Jun gave us the address of her old man's lab, and we agreed to meet her there. I was worried that that Nordic vixen, that mauve angel had taken some kind of occult hold on Joe's admittedly small mind. The cabbie was waiting for us when we got out, and I gave him the address as I watched Jun's little pink roadster speed off into the misty night. **

"Hey, man. I waiting out here in the rain for an hour for the twoa ya. You better know I keep the meter running.."

"Yeah, whatever." Ken reluctantly got back in the cab, wishing now that he hadn't flattened Joe's tires. Meanwhile, Joe looked longingly back at the Kats Klub as the cab pulled away in the night.

"What an amazing woman."

"I think she's involved Joe."

"I didn't see a wedding ring."

Ken smacked him. "Not that way, you schmuck. I mean involved with the old guy's disappearance."

Joe shrugged. "Could be. Let me interrogate her?"

"Oh for god's sake, Joe."

****

**Nambu manor loomed before us, a gothic nightmare, as the cab wound up the narrow road. The rain was falling steadily now, and we could only see the house limned by the flashes of lightning. Beyond the manor, the ocean spread out like a dark blanket. I had a feeling. The kind of bad feeling reserved for impending doom and unexpected tax audits. I gave the cabbie another ten-spot and told him to sit tight.**

"Fuck that, man.." Ryu grumbled as he adjusted his bright knit cap against the rain. "No way Ryu is staying outside in the rain at a place like this. I comin' inside. 'Sides, there's some mondo bad mojo 'bout this place. That fine looking woman, maybe she need Ryu's protection.."

"But..but..." Ken waffled. Joe just shrugged. "Who can argue with a guy that big?"

The cabbie followed them into the manor.

Jun met them in the foyer. In her pink silk pyjamas and pearls, she glowed against the dark wood and stuffed mooseheads. Sitting next to her, snarling, was a pink-tinted poodle with a sparkling collar. "Come on. I'll show you daddy's lab.."

Ken bent down to pet the dog. "Awww! You must be Snoogums.." The dog yapped and attached himself to Ken's arm. "AHHHH!! Get!It!OFFF!!!"

Joe whipped out his gun and cocked the hammer as Jun patted the snarling little dog on the head. "Now, Snoogums.. Naughty doggie!" The poodle released Ken, growling.

She led them down a winding staircase, to a heavy steel door. A glowing panel was set in the wall next to it. When Jun touched it, the door slowly slid back, with a rumbling sound. The three men stared at the huge lab spread out before them.

"Holy shit. Looks like somethin' out of Buck Rogers." Joe whispered. Ken just nodded. They wandered through the chamber filled with labware and softly glowing vacuum tubes. One table was spread with rumpled blueprints. Ken picked one up and squinted at the birdlike drawings. "Um.. What exactly is all this?"

"This is some of what daddy was working on. I think some of the blueprints might be missing." She sighed heavily and the poodle yapped. "He's discovered a way to make men fly. To give them amazing powers.."

"Hey, man, this place's creepy. Ryu got a baaad vibe goin down here."

Ken set the blueprint down. "You could just go wait in the cab, you know." The cabbie just grimaced at him.

Jun sighed heavily. "I really am afraid some underworld criminals have gotten ahold of daddy, to use his plans for evil. But at least they don't have the prototypes."

Ken perked up. "Prototypes? Where are they?"

She sighed again. "I don't know. Only Daddy had that information. You have to find him!" Her big green eyes brimmed with tears and she threw herself against Ken.

"Um...Please, uh, don't cry..uh, Jun. We'll find him.." He patted her on the head as the poodle stared at him with its beady little eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**I hated leaving a beautiful dame like her all alone in that house, but if I was gonna find her old man, time was wasting. I told the cabbie to take us back to the office. As I stared out into the rain-soaked night, I knew what our next move would be. I figured the cabbie could play an integral role, so I asked him to stay.**

"Would you go away? I gave you twenty bucks!!!" Ken's voice nearly cracked as he stalked up the stairs, followed by the lumbering cabbie.

"Twenty bucks? For driving you all over in th' rain, man? For waitin around for you man? The meter say fifty dollars! I don't run no charity cab!" Joe watched the two of them go up the stairs and shook his head, lighting another cigarette before following.

Ken swung the office door open. "I don't have another thirty dollars, you dreadlocked lunatic! You took my last twenty!! Now go away!"

"No way, man. Ryu stayin close to you till he gets his full fifty dollars!!" Ryu looked around the office. "Man, you two sure are pigs.."

Ken stopped and turned to look at the mess. "Oh, god. We've been robbed." He reached into his pocket. "Joe..ACK!" From the darkened corner by the desk a projectile streaked out, clocking Ken squarely in the back of the head. As he fell on his face, dazed, Joe dashed in behind them, gun drawn. "Alright ya little pissant! Come out or I swear, I'm gonna swiss cheese the desk and you with it!!"

"Uh..Joe? Is that you?" squeaked a small voice from behind the desk.

"Oh, for crying out loud. Jinpei, get the fuck out of there." He flicked the safety back on and reholstered the gun.

As for Ken, the flashing stars were finally fading. He rolled over and looked up into Ryu's broad, smiling face. "Don't you be dyin, man. You still owe Ryu thirty dollars!!"

Ken blinked groggily and slowly sat up. Laying near his head was the frog ashtray. "What the hell happened?"

A little kid in a ratty cap and clothes too big crept around the desk. "Heh. Sorry, aniki. I thought you were those guys again."

"What guys? Why the hell did you brain me with the frog??" Ken got up gingerly and set the frog back on the desk.

"Well, I came in, you know, to do the housekeeping and while I was cleaning these goons came in and started tearing up the place. I hid behind the desk. They musta taken off when they heard you coming up the stairs.." he jerked a thumb at the open window.

Joe leaned out the window. "Goons, huh? More like you had a party when we were out and your little friends all left?"

Jinpei shook his head. "What do you take me for, aniki? I'm just trying to earn a decent buck with you two slobs. It's not my fault you got these green guys busting in here.."

"Green guys?" Ken scowled at Jinpei, then at the frog.

"Yeah. Five or six of 'em. Masks, ugly ass green suits..."

"The Kats Klub." Ken and Joe said it at the same time.

****

**Everything was going according to plan. We went back to the Kats Klub. It was nearly two in the morning and the nightclub was getting ready to close up. We were prepared to move - a well-oiled machine.**

"Snnzzzxxx..wha??" Ken awoke abruptly in the back of the cab to Joe flicking him in the head.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." Joe snarled. "Care to let me in on your 'plan like a well-oiled machine?' "

Ken rubbed his forehead. "You didn't have to do that. I was..thinking.."

"Yeah and I've got wings. We haven't seen anybody leave yet."

As they waited, watching the lights go out at the Kats Klub, a strange scent wafted from the front of the cab.

Ken eyed Ryu suspiciously. "What're you doing up there?"

"Hey, nothin that concern you. You go back to your spying and watching. Ryu gonna just mellow out." He held up a joint. "Unless you be wantin a hit, then, man.." He took a drag. "An don't forget, the meter's running!"

"Why, you..." Ken sputtered, trying to reach over and throttle the cabbie before Joe shoved him back down.

"Check it out." he pointed to the truck backing up to the Kats Klub side door.

There was a flurry of activity as green-suited men began loading large wooden crates into the back of the truck. It couldn't have been more than ten minutes before they were done.

Ken leaned his chin on the back of the seat. "Whoo. I wonder what that's all about..."

Joe shook his head and absently chewed on the dog tags hanging around his neck. "You got me...look..they're leaving..."

Ken turned back to Ryu. "You gotta follow that truck, okay?"

"Sure man...what else I gonna do tonite but chauffer the twoa ya around?" He took another hit, and started after the truck.

Soon the truck had left the comforting lights of Main Street for the shadows of the waterfront. Poorly lit warehouses loomed through the rain around them. Finally, the truck pulled behind what could have been any generic warehouse, except for the garish painting on the side.. "Granny X's Handicrafts"

Ryu parked up the street and they waited until the unloading of the boxes had died down.

"Right, then. Let's go get a closer look." They got out of the cab, Ryu staggering after them. "Look, Ryu -right? Why don't you just stay here?"

"Because you be cheatin me out of my.." he leaned back to look at the meter. "seventy five dollars, man."

"SEVENTY FIVE?!?!? It's not like you're taking us to Mars or something!!" Ken felt himself getting flushed. "Why, I oughta.." They both froze when they heard the gun go off.

"I'm going to kill both of you if this doesn't stop. I'm tired. It's raining. I smell like pot. You two can argue about this later. For now, can we just go?" Smoke wafted from the inside of the cab where the meter used to be as Joe stuffed the gun back in his jacket.

"Um..reasonably put, Joe.." Ken backed away from the cab, and turned to Ryu. "Why don't you ask him for your money, huh? HUH?"

Ryu folded his arms. " 'Cause he's got a gun, whaddya think I am? Stupid? And the union be hearing about what you did to my cab!"

***

**Stealthily, we crept up to the truck. On the side was that same garish logo for "Granny X's Handicrafts". A chill ran down my spine. We were on to something.**

"Will you shut UP?!?" Joe hissed as they snuck around the truck to the loading dock. A stack of crates sat just inside.

"You two keep an eye out. I'm gonna check out these crates" Ken whispered as he pulled the Swiss Army knife out of his pocket. As he pried off the corner of one of the crates, Joe padded further into the dimly lit building.

There were footsteps coming from even further into the warehouse. Joe ducked behind another crate as he heard the door open.

"Is the shipment ready, Rolf?" It was a husky voice, soft and subtly accented with German. Joe immediately thought of Kat. But when he peered around the crate, he saw a handsome blond man, half in shadows, in an expensive purple suit. He was smoking and looked concerned.

"All set to get on the boat, Boss." The green-suited doorman grinned.

Back at the loading dock, Ken had finally succeeded in getting the lid off the crate. "What the hell?" he muttered as he pushed the straw away. Staring back up at him were the same beady little glass eyes that he'd grown to hate on his desk every day. It was a crate full of those damn frog ashtrays.

Ryu wandered back over to him. "Hey, man. The coast is clear. Whatchu find in the crate?"

Ken held up the frog with a grimace. "Goddamn frog ashtrays. I don't get it."

The cabbie scratched his head, took another drag on the joint and picked one up. "Beats me, but check it out.. The eyes, they, like, follow you..."

"Give me that." Ken snatched the frog out of Ryu's hand. He would have said something else, mainly to the effect of "stoned out lunatic" but he never got the chance. The sounds of a very loud fight drifted towards them.

"Oh, no...Joe..." Ken slapped his forehead. "That maniac.." Still holding the frog and the swiss army knife, he started back to where the sounds were coming from. The cabbie followed close behind. The first thing they came upon was an unconscious green-suited waiter. "Oh, no..."

Then they saw Joe, surrounded by green-suited men in strange masks. A few others lay in a heap by the crates. "Joe, what the hell are you doing??" It slipped out before Ken could stop himself.

Joe looked up, distracted from the fight. "Ken, you jerk! Get ou.." His sentence was cut off, as a particularly large green-suited man smashed him in the back of the head with a chair.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a slo-mo movie scene as the chair came down. Joe collapsed like a sack of potatoes with a bad hair day. The only way I could help him was to escape, so I turned to run. It turned out that the friendly staff of the Kats Klub had different ideas, because a few of those sexy waitresses in the fur-trimmed outfits had joined the party and were smiling at us with tommy-guns.**

"Now, ladies..." Ken stammered as the waitresses advanced on them. "I'm sure we can work this out.."

One of the women smiled like Barbie's evil twin and gestured with the gun. "Over there, big spender."

A man in the purple suit and a bizarre purple mask sauntered over to them, watching as two of the green-suited men dragged the unconscious Joe over to a crate and propped him up. "Well, well. We have some uninvited guests, ja?"

Ken straightened. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, mister. But I'm looking for a missing scientist." Then his eyes widened as the man stepped into the light. Ken had seen that mask before - in the papers and on the newsreels. "You..you..you're...."

The Purple Masque smiled with predatory glee. "...the winner, Herr... Washio?" He took a long drag on a cigarette and blew the smoke in Ken's face. "And you, I'm sorry to say, are sleeping mit der fishes." A small nod of his head and his henchmen grabbed Ken and Ryu and started dragging them away. The mask dipped down to look at the unconscious Joe, and the wolf's smile softened a little. He bent down to push an unruly, long strand away and ran a purple-gloved hand down Joe's cheek, before gesturing to the guards.

***

Things were not going quite as planned. I was man enough to admit that. They smacked us around, tied us up and stuffed us in the back of Ryu's cab. This was bad. This was worse than my prom date with Ida Mae Tupelo...which was really bad. But this was worse. After what seemed like an eternity passed, they dumped Joe in the front seat after taking the gun. With a four inch gash on his head, he looked dead. I noticed his jacket was missing and I couldn't help but think how pissed he'd be if he were still alive. If only I could get to my Swiss Army knife! But that was dangling from the rearview mirror as a taunt. No matter. I would get out of this, or face my end like a man.**

"Pleasepleaseplease don't kill me!!!" Ken's voice cracked as the cab was pushed to the end of the dock. Somewhere in the distance, a lonely buoy sounded. The rain had finally stopped, and now the moisture hung in a thick, sticky curtain of mist on the docks.

The Purple Masque shook his head. "Bitte, Herr Washio. Do not scream so. You will only use up what little air you have in there, that much sooner." He smiled geneially at Ken. "Guten morgens, mien herr. Enjoy your swim."

"Man. I'm sorry I ever picked the twoa youse up. The union is gonna hear about THIS!" Ryu muttered as the cab slapped against the surface of Uto Bay. "And I don't know what kinda pervert you are, but cut it out!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!?!" Ken sqwaked. The water was slowly rising to the windows.

"Your...y'know..THING, man. It keeps poking me in the side. Cut it out!!"

"My WHAT?!? You have got to be...Wait! It's the frog. I must've stuffed one of those frogs in my pocket!!" Ken struggled against the bonds. "SHIT! I can't reach it. Ryu..see if you can pull the frog out of my pocket."

"Man, this ain't the time to be comin' on to me." Ryu grumbled.

"No, no, no, you big twit! I put one of those frog ashtrays in my pocket. If you can get it, we can break it and use the shards to cut the ropes!" Ken felt a frantic glimmer of hope. "COME ON!! Grab the fucking frog!!"

"Geez, okay! Don't get yourself all turned around man!" The two struggled around until the cabbie was able to free the frog from Ken's trenchcoat. The water was over the windows now, and heading for the roof. Some of the water began to leak in, still winter cold.

"Okay. Okay. Now smash the frog." Ken held his breath as Ryu whacked the frog on the door. Nothing. "What happened?"

"I dunno man. Frog's pretty tough." He whacked it several more times until it broke apart. Something sparkling fell to the floor as the frog's ugly little head shattered.

"Hey..there was somethin' in the frog, man." Ryu strained to see what it was.

"We'll worry about that later. Give me a shard of the frog." The cabbie handed him a piece and Ken began frantically rubbing the edge against the ropes. "Come on... this always works in the movies..." He stopped dead, though, when he heard an unearthly sound.

"Whuuu...th'...fuck..." It was coming from the front.

"Joe? JOE?? You're alive??"

"Huh..wha..happen?" Weakly, he tried to sit up, then collapsed face first on the front seat again.

"Joe. Stop playing around. You gotta get my knife off the mirror."

"inna minnit...gotta head..ache..."

"Joe, we're all gonna drown. I don't wanna die, okay? Get me the knife!" There was a slightly hysterical edge to Ken's voice. He watched over the back of the seat as a hand came up and, after missing a couple of times, got ahold of the little red knife. The water was rising in the cab now, nearly seat deep.

"Okay. Now bring me the knife."

Joe sat up again, staring at Ken through unfocused eyes. He had a confused smile on his face. "Here ya go..." He was swaying slightly.

The cab was well submerged by the time they finally got free. Ken struggled with the door, then whacked his head against the window in frustration. "I can't get them open. Too much water pressure."

"Thass nice.." Joe mumbled as he lay back down on the front seat. "Wake me when th' movie ends?"

"No! For god's sake, Joe! Don't go to sleep!!" Ken reached over and shook him. Joe smiled pleasantly back at him.

"Man. The union is REALLY gonna be hearin about what you did to my cab!" Ryu shook his head. "But I don't wanna die in here today, so you two girlies take a nice deep breath, okay?"

"Are we gonna see Esther Williams?" Joe mumbled hopefully.

"Yeah, now take a deep breath and hold it. That's a good boy." Ken took ahold of him, not entirely certain about Joe's current ability to swim. Then he watched as Ryu stared at the door for a moment, took a breath, and kicked the door open like it was made of tissue paper.

****

**It was an eternity that we climbed through the icy darkness of the bay. I could barely make out Ryu's enormous hawaiian shirt in the gloom. As we swam, struggling to get Joe's dead weight to the surface, I could hear the blood hammering in my ears, a primitive war drum. As my lungs began to burn and ache, I was filled with the realization that I was hearing a war drum. This case had just turned personal. This was war.**

They broke the cold, still surface of Uto Bay, gasping like beached fish.

"We're alive. Oh, god. We're alive..." Ken rasped.

"Tings always like this 'round the twoa yous?" Ryu coughed as they dragged themselves, shivering, up onto the dock.

Ken sat down heavily and coughed. "...not usually this...exciting, no."

Joe lay back on the dock staring up at the sky. "Man. Look at all the pretty colors." Ken squinted up at the grey pre-morning sky and snorted.

Ryu laughed. "Ryu thinks your partner got himself knocked out of his own head, man."

Ken slapped Joe in the face. Joe looked back at him with dumb puppy eyes. "Ow. Why'd you hit me?"

Ken glowered at him. "Come on. Threaten me, say something nasty to me. Hit me back or something!"

Joe sat up and looked hurt. "Why...would I want to hurt you? You're purple."

Perplexed, Ken let that pass, then looked back at Ryu. "Hey. Did you ever see what fell out of the frog?"

Ryu smiled broadly, his gold tooth glinting in the mercury-vapor streetlamp. "You bet, man, but Ryu keeping it for the damages!"

Ken scowled. "What the heck..?" The cabbie proudly held out a sparkling clear stone, the size of his thumbnail. "Holy shit. Is that a diamond?"

Ryu held it up to the orangey light. "I'm thinkin so. Got a buddy who runs a pawnshop on Cherry Street. He know for sure."

Ken squinted at the glittering stone. "I don't think it's a diamond. Something looks..I dunno..funny about it."

"Ah - you just jealous, man."

"Pretty.." Joe mumbled.

Ken slapped his forehead. "Alright, dammit. Joe..Joe, look at me..there you go. They stole your jacket."

"Thass nice...I guess.. that's why I'm cold...."

"Oh for.. They took your gun, Joe. Your gun."

"My.. gun?"

"Yeah." Ken stared at Joe, waiting for the glimmer of familiar hostility to light.

"My gun."

"Yeah."

"My Beretta Limited Edition?"

Ken tried not to smile. "The Beretta."

"Those..those..BASTARDS!!" Joe sat up straight. "What the hell happened??"

"You got hit in the head with a chair. I thought you were dead."

"Sonovabitch. It was that..." He paused. "It was those green guys. Bastards." Then he glanced at Ryu. "Well. Are we gonna sit here and freeze all night?"

"They think we're dead. That's a plus. I say we get a change of clothes, and pay a little visit to Ryu's pawnbroker friend."

****

**It was early morning when we finally got back to the office. Experience had taught both me and my partner to keep a change of clothes handy. We were tired. We were hungry. We didn't have a damn thing that would fit the cabbie. My mind was racing, now, as if I were jazzed on too many cups of cheap espresso. Frogs. Diamonds. Missing Scientists. Heiresses. The Kats Klub. Where did all the pieces fit?**

Jinpei was snoring on the duct-tape covered couch when they finally staggered into the office.

Ken wandered into the cramped bathroom, and lobbed Ryu a towel before staring at his face in the mirror. Bleary-eyed, unkempt, and badly in need of a shave. I look like Joe.. He splashed water on his face and thought of Jun. Maybe I should call her. After all, she is the client... He peeled off his sodden shirt and let it fall to the floor. Feeling suddenly exhausted, Ken leaned his forehead on the cool glass of the mirror and rubbed the back of his neck. Jun...

Jinpei groggily looked around the room. "Geez. You guys look like shit."

Joe just snarled at him, as he pulled spare clothes out of his locker.

Jinpei held up his hands defensively. "Hey, whoa, there Tarzan. What happened to you guys? Too much fun back at that Club?"

Ken poked his head out of the bathroom, half- dressed, face covered in shaving foam. "That depends. If you call getting beat up, tied up and dropped in the bay to drown, yeah. We had a great time."

"Wow! That sounds totally cool. Can I go on cases with you two?"

"Shut up, Jinpei." Joe growled as he pulled a locked case from his locker. He popped it open, and removed a Glock 26 9mm. He looked back at the kid, watching him. "If I ever find out you were touching these, no one will ever be able to find all your body parts, understand?" Jinpei just nodded and turned away, gulping.

"Hey, man. I be needing somethin dry, too, y'know..." The couch creaked under Ryu's weight as he leaned back.

Ken resurfaced from the bathroom, changed and shaven. He felt marginally better. "Yeah, I know, Ryu. We can stop off at your place before heading over to the pawnshop.." He lobbed the big man a worn towel.

"I don't need you to be goin with me to the pawnshop, man. You ain't gettin this rock."

"I think this all ties together. I just want to see what your buddy has to say about it. By the way, that was pretty amazing how you busted that door out."

Ryu smiled broadly and puffed out his chest. "I'm in training to be a wrestler. Ain't nobody stronger than Ryu."

Joe nodded and started struggling out of his wet clothing. He was trying to pull on his dry jeans over his heavy boots when the office door swung open.


	6. Chapter 6

**She stood in the doorway, limned by the grubby light in the hallway. Her pink satin trenchcoat gleamed. She looked innocent as a lamb, but dangerous, as she stood there, eyes wide and clutching her poodle. She looked like a dame with a secret.**

"Oh, thank god you're here." She said breathlessly. "I was so afraid. The Manor was broken into last night." Her eyes widened further when she looked over and saw Joe, semi-naked. Jun bit her lip and made an obvious attempt not to giggle.

Joe stared back at her for a moment, then, slowly, looked down at himself. Still tangled in the jeans, he tried to nonchalantly hop back into the bathroom, almost falling over Ken.

Ken grinned and blocked the door. "Are you alright, Miss Nambu?" After several moments, he moved, allowing Joe into the bathroom.

"I could hurt you really bad for this" Joe whispered.

Ken led her to the couch. "What happened? Did you call the police?"

Jun set the snarling little poodle down, its collar sparkling in the dim light of the office. "I'm fine, physically. But I'm so scared. I think they were looking for the prototypes. The house was ransacked before Snoogums drove them away."

Ken looked archly at the dog. "What did Snoogums do, puke on them?" The poodle yapped viciously at him.

"No. She went down and barked at them until they left. They didn't get into the lab" She leaned forward and the trenchcoat fell open. "Mr. Washio, are you all right?"

Blushing, Ken tore himself away from her cleavage. "Uhh..Of course. Just..thinking. Maybe it's best if you find somewhere safe to hide for a while."

"Hey, aniki! I can help with that!" Jinpei puffed himself up. "I know lots of places to ditch in this city. She couldn't be safer than if you stuck her in a vault."

Ken stared down at the kid. "Okay. You're on."

***

**Before we brought Jun to Jinpei's "safehouse", we figured it was time to take another look at the old geezer's lab. There were too many pieces to this puzzle, that I just couldn't make fit. Somewhere in that lab had to be a key.**

"Somehow..urf..I don't think this was such a good idea, Joe.." Ken was trying desperately to think of high-school math and C-Span as Jun squiggled onto his lap. Somehow, Jinpei and Ryu had wedged into the Mustang's nominal backseat. Now Ken found himself inches away from both Jun's breasts and Snoogum's jaws.

"It's not like the car was built to hold five people, schmuck. If you hadn't gotten Ryu's cab trashed.." Joe snarled back at him. "Just be thankful I had spare tires laying around."

"I got the cab trashed???"

"Yeah, man! Don't think Ryu be forgettin about this, man!"

From somewhere in the backseat, Jinpei's strangled little voice rose. "Can..we get..urk..going? I'm ..uh..kinda having a ..urf..problem breathing back here..."

Joe peered in the rearview mirror, seeing only fluorescent hawaiian shirt. "Hang on, kiddies." he said, shaking his head.

The ride to Nambu manor seemed infinitely longer this time, despite how fast Joe drove. Ken started to feel lightheaded. Thoughts of C-Span weren't working, but every time he took a glance at Jun, the poodle snarled at him. "Nice puppy." Ken croaked. "So..Miss Nambu..Jun..Uh, how long have you had Snoogums, anyway?"

She giggled and Ken felt fainter. "Not long. Kat gave Snoogums to me as a birthday present last week. I wuv my widdle Snoogie and Snoogie wuvs mommy, wight?" She squeezed the poodle until its beady little eyes began to bulge.

Ken had the distinct feeling that Jun had just said something vitally important, but his brain had ceased all normal operations several miles back. Joe had finally decided on a radio station, and he and Ryu were having an atonal duet to "All Along the Watchtower." Ken couldn't even see the radio, let alone reach the knob, and somewhere, he dimly wondered if Jinpei was still struggling to breathe in the backseat. He'd been abnormally quiet for several minutes.

When the car finally came to a stop, and they struggled, clown-like, out of the car, the fresh air acted like a slap to the face. "You said Kat gave you Snoogums?" He glanced over to Joe, who was now watching them with interest.

"Yes, why?" Jun asked. The poodle began to yip at Ken.

"Nothing. She's got interesting taste." He fell behind as Jun went to unlock the front door, followed by Ryu and a still-pallid Jinpei. Joe came up next to him. "Did you hear that, Joe?"

He nodded, as they started towards the house. "There's definitely a connection between that club and the old coot's disappearance. I'm gonna check it out again after I drop the kid and Jun off."

"Is that smart? After all, you did get your noggin whacked in the last time we were there."

"Hey. They, whoever they are, think that you, me and the ganja king up there are dead." He laughed. "Maybe you'll find something we can actually use here."

Even during the day, the house was gloomy, as Jun led them back down to the lab and activated the door. Impulsively, Ken took Jun's hand. "Don't worry. We're going to get to the bottom of this."

She batted her huge eyes at him. "I know you will...Ken." She sighed softly.

"Oh, gross. Can we get on with this?" Jinpei shoved past them into the lab. Ken grabbed him by the collar. "Uh-uh, shorty."

"Who're you calling shorty?!?"

"You. Show Joe where to go, and he'll drop you guys off. If there's any problems, call me here, okay? Can you handle this?"

"Chill out, aniki. It'll be fine." He yanked on Joe's sleeve. "Come on, Jeeves. Take me an' the lady home."

Joe shrugged and smacked Jinpei on the head. "Call me Jeeves again, and I'm gonna tie you to the roof."

Ken watched them leave. "You be careful, guys."

***

**As I watched Joe pull out of the driveway, I knew I'd made a terrible mistake. There was a lot I didn't know about my partner's past, but I did know he had a hair trigger temper and a long memory. I just hoped someone didn't end up dead before we found Jun's father. Patience was the key. And we could never give up hope**

Ken sat down disgustedly on a stool. "We're never gonna find anything in this mess."

Ryu sat down next to him. "Yah. This place's a bigger mess than your office."

"Oh, hah-hah." Ken leaned back on the desk and felt something shift under his weight. He jumped up, startled.

"What is it, man. Something bite you?" The cabbie asked laughingly.

"I don't know." He pushed the sheaves of cryptic notes aside, revealing a strange object. It was ceramic and dome-shaped, with a small socket at the top. Along the bottom, was a small, green button. On the base was stamped "Granny X's Handicrafts".

"What the heck is that?" Ryu peered at the little dome.

"Good question. It's got the same mark on it that those frogs and the warehouse did. They've gotta be connected somehow...Hmmmm. Looks like something goes in here." He pointed to the socket. "Something small and round." Then Ken stared accusingly at Ryu. "Something like that crystal you found in the frog."

"Hey, man. You don't be takin Ryu's diamond. What if that thing eats 'em, or something?"

"It'll be fine. Just give me the rock."

"No."

"Oh, come on."

"No. Get your own."

***

Joe left Jun and Jinpei at the kid's "safehouse" in the picturesque ruins and slums of the maze that was old Utoland City. He was no architecture critic, but the building appealed to him. It retained much of its pre-war gothic elegance, overlaid by a certain fin-de-millennium decay. The kid was right, though. You'd have to be a mind reader to find your way though the twisting streets. He waited until they disappeared into the gloom of the decrepit building before turning around and heading uptown.

It was almost a case of culture shock when he finally parked across from the Kat's Klub. Even in the hazy daylight, it sparkled. He pushed his sunglasses up his nose to darken the scene. Stationed out front was one of the goons who beat him up, Joe was certain of that.

He adjusted the Glock as he got out of the car and strode across the street. As he approached, the doorman looked up. The huge man suddenly paled and stiffened like a board.

As Joe went to walk in the door the doorman stepped in front of him. "Lissen buddy, if you know what's good for..." he was stopped by a slender hand on his arm.

"Rolf, Herr Asakura is a dear friend of mine. You wouldn't want to put him to any trouble, would you?" her soft voice purred.

The doorman stammered unintelligibly, flushed, and stepped aside.

Kat was standing in the corridor beyond, her pale hair falling loosely around her shoulders. She wore a breathlessly tight purple chinese dress and held a battered leather jacket in her arms.

She watched Joe walk into the darkened corridor with a small, feral smile. "I believe you left this here last night."

***

"Don't play games, Ryu. I'm not gonna keep it."

"Okay, but I'm watching you."

"Fine. FINE. Just give me the rock?" Ken was exhausted from pleading with the intractable cabbie.

"Here." Ryu gingerly handed Ken the crystal, looking distastefully at the smaller man.

Ken looked at the crystal for a moment then set it in the socket. It fit. "See. I told you it would fit." Ken snorted.

"Yah, yah. So it fits. What now, Einstein?"

Ken glared at Ryu. "Relax. All we do is push this button and.." he pushed in the little green button and a brilliant beam of light shot out of the socket, sending both of them scrambling behind the desk.

"Holy SHIT!" Ken's voice broke. "What the hell just happened?"

"REE-LAAXX, the man says.." Ryu grumbled, peering over the top of the desk. "Oh, wow. Check it out." There was a note of wonder to the big man's voice that made Ken get up to look.

There, glowing in the air above the ceramic whatsis, were slowly rotating images. Ken couldn't make out the words, but he'd seen the drawings before. Cautiously, he walked around the desk, to the table near the door. He picked up one of the pages with the bird-like drawings on them and then looked up and the shining pictures in the air. "These must be the missing blueprints." Ken set the drawings back down, wondering. "But how...?"

Ryu clicked his tongue. "This reminds me of somethin at the world's fair a coupla years ago. The exhibit was '3-D Television, Wave of th' Future.' Yah..."

Ken leaned against the desk. "Yeah. I heard about that. Holo-graphy it was called, right? But this is way more advanced than that. This is almost, I dunno, alien..."

"Hey..you think the old guy coulda been kidnapped by little green men with big old boogedy eyes?"

Ken frowned at Ryu. "Oh, come on. There's no such thing as little green, pink, purple, or blue boogeymen."

Ryu sat back. "Whaddya think this was in the frog, for, anyway?"

"I dunno. I think maybe our buddy the Purple Mask is in the process of smuggling out the blueprints..to..somewhere." He turned off the projector. "What I can't figure out, if that's the case, what this thing is doing here."

Ryu shrugged. "Beats me." He took the crystal out of the projector. "Well, guess old Ryu's not gettin much for this, eh?"

"I think it's probably worth a lot more, just not at the pawnshop." Ken looked around the room some more. "I wonder if the same drawings are in each frog." He stopped in front of a painting. It was a brightly colored image of birds wheeling across the sky, but it hung crooked on the wall. Ken reached up to straighten it, and it fell to the floor with a crash. "Shit!" He jumped back, then looked up.

The part of the wall behind the painting was different than all the rest. Ken started running his hands over it, as Ryu came over. "Whatchu find?"

"I'm not sure yet..ah-hah..." he found a seam in the wall and fished out the his knife. After a little prying, the section swung open, revealing a niche in the wall. Sitting in the niche were five items that looked for all the world like wristbands, or wristwatches with no numbers. Ken reached in and plucked one out. It was a flexible, lightweight plastic of some sort. Where a watch face would be, was a smooth metal plate with fine lines cut into it. A small light blinked in the corner.

Ken held it in his hands, staring down at it. It was actually warm to the touch. "I wonder.." he murmured. "Could these be the prototypes Jun was talking about?"


	7. Chapter 7

Kat led Joe to a plush booth. The club was relatively empty, except for a few early lunch diners. Gracefully, she seated herself, and motioned for Joe to do the same.

"I'm flattered you came back to see me so soon, Joe." She crossed her legs and leaned against the back of the seat. A waitress materialized from somewhere, with the cigarette in its holder, and a martini. "Would you like anything?"

"Just some information." Joe held out his lighter for her, before lighting his own cigarette.

"Dahling," she purred. "I'm a lounge singer. Not even a particularly talented one. What could I possibly tell you?" She took a sip of her martini, watching him over the rim of the glass.

"Kat. Something is going on here. You're involved in it, aren't you?" Joe found it difficult to look away from her level, violet gaze.

Just then, another waitress came up to her. "There's a call for you, madame, in your dressing room." The girl whispered.

Kat smiled and set her drink down. "Probably that dear little senator calling to express his love for me again. Please excuse me. I won't be long." Like her namesake, she unfolded herself from the booth and left.

Joe waited until she had vanished behind the curtained stage, before following her. He headed down the narrow passageway, avoiding his reflection in the mirrored stage props stacked there. The door was open the barest of cracks. Lightly, he pushed the door open, watching the reflection in the wall. He was unprepared for what he saw there.

Kat was not on the phone. Rather, she was speaking to a large mirror. Only instead of her reflection, there was a distorted, featureless image, with a high pitched, annoying voice.

"Katse. I am very disappointed in your performance." The voice was like nails on a chalkboard. "I thought you had taken care of the matter."

"I..thought so, too, Overlord. My apologies." She bowed before the image.

"Have any of them come back to the club?" The image flickered, and the voice took on the quality of a Chihuahua in a blender.

"N-no, your eminence." Her head remained lowered. "I don't think they can be that foolish."

"Fine. Make certain the next shipment is ready. I will deal with the other matter myself." The image dissolved into static and vanished, leaving Kat's reflection, pale and concerned. She looked up into the mirror, and wheeled around as Joe opened the door fully.

Joe walked into the crowded, opulent little room and closed the door behind him. "What's going on, Kat?"

She backed up, a look of fear washing over her face. "What are you going to do?" There was a tremor to her voice.

He shook his head. "Nothing. Not yet, anyway. You didn't sell me out to your boss. Why?"

She bit her lip and stared at him through the veil of her hair. "You can't figure out why, Joe?" She seemed to relax slightly.

"Not when your company goons tried to kill us last night."

Warily, she approached him. "My apologies for the little boo-boo. But who do you think left the knife in the cab so you could escape?" Tentatively, she reached out to touch the cut on his head. He winced, but didn't pull away. "Joe. You're getting involved in something you can't even begin to comprehend. Get out while you can."

They were barely inches apart now, and Joe found himself eye to eye with her. "I know you have another gun, Joe. Are you going to kill me?"

This close, he could smell her perfume. It was musky and warm, hauntingly familiar. "I don't think I can." His mouth was dry. "I think I should go now, Kat." He moved away from her with a gentle clank of dogtags and pulled his jacket on.

She didn't move as he turned and left without another word.

And then she smiled.

***

**I was starting to worry. I pocketed the wristbands, feeling they'd be safer with us. But I was beginning to wonder where my partner was at. Granted, he almost made a point of never checking with me on where he was at, but that dame at the Kat's Klub held an awful fascination for him. I was hoping it wouldn't cost him his life. I still owed him for mine.**

They wandered around the lab, becoming increasingly bored.

Ryu finally sat back down at the desk. "Uh, so, like, where did you guys get the frog in your office? Y'know, the one the kid busted you in the head with?"

Ken fiddled with one of the wristbands. "We had a case last month. A woman's daughter was kidnapped. The police took over halfway through. The lady gave us the frog as a consolation prize, I guess." Ken said sourly.

"That's kinda strange."

Ken looked up from the wristband. "You're right. I never really thought about it, y'know. She was a scientist-type, too. What was her name..." He chewed his lip. "Pandora. That's it. Doctor Sylvia Pandora. Really super-smart."

"What happened to her kid?"

"Eventually, the Doc paid the ransom demands and the kid was returned to her. By that time, though, we were off the case."

Ryu nodded. "Yahh..remember seein that on the news. Wasn't she supposed to win that prize thing?"

"What prize thing?"

"Y'know..it was in the news..that prize thing ..." Ryu gestured ineffectually at Ken

"The Nobel Prize? Yeah, she told us about that. She didn't win though.." Ken's eyes widened. "The old coot did. Nambu won the Nobel prize."

"Then it sounds like we should pay old Doc Pandora a little visit, huh?" Ken nearly jumped out of his skin at Joe's voice.

"AGH! Don't DO that!" He gasped. "Where the hell have you been??"

Joe was leaning against the doorway to the lab. "I hung around the Kat's Klub for a while. Kat never showed up. Neither did that guy in the purple suit."

"The mysterious Purple Mask."

Joe looked surprised. "Really? What, do you know him, or something?" he snorted.

"Joe... he gets a lot of media exposure. He's always in the newsfeeds and the paper."

"Like I watch the box."

"We can worry about your entertainment habits later. I want to check on Jinpei and our client before we head over to see if the good doctor is in."

***

**I began to wonder, now if this weren't a twisted game of revenge between warring eggheads. Dr. Sylvie Pandora had been a charming lady in the upper-crust, blueblood, old-school tradition. She didn't seem the type..**

"...and my god, you should have seen her breasts." Joe snorted in reply. Ken huffed and glared at him.

It was mid-afternoon by the time they made their way to old Utoland City. The sunny morning haze had completely given up, and a sticky fog had settled in its place. Even through the blanketing fog, the Mustang's engine echoed hollowly around the ruined buildings. Ken peered out the window, frowning. "Whatta dump. Are you sure you know where you're going?" it was strangely deserted, even for the war-ruined "Oldtown".

Joe scowled at him and stubbed a cigarette out in the ashtray. "It's only because I work with you that I'm gonna pretend you didn't ask that." He parked in front of the crumbling brownstone. "We're here."

Ryu wedged himself out of the car. "whew. Man.. I tell you even tho it nice to be the passenger once in a while, you gotta get yourself a bigger car if we be doin this alot."

Joe smiled thinly and shook his head. Ken laughed and patted Ryu on the shoulder. Ryu stared at him. "Don't you be thinking Ryu forgotten about the money or th' frog incident." He gave Ken an enormously insincere, gold-toothed grin.

"Look, this is touching..but.."Joe gestured towards the doorway as Ken slowly backed away from the cabbie.

Three creaking flights later, they were at Jinpei's hideaway. Ken rapped on the door. "Jinpei? It's me, Ken. Open up."

Silence. Ken and Joe glanced at each other. "Jinpei?" Ken's mouth felt dry. He tried the door. It was locked.

Ryu shouldered them aside. "Y'need the door taken care of, girlies? Ryu handle this one for you again.." Joe looked like he was going to say something, but then stopped as Ryu threw himself into the door. It didn't budge.

The cabbie stared at it, rubbing his shoulder. "What the hell?"

Joe shook his head and tsked. "Steel fire door. You gotta know how to finesse them open." He pushed Ryu aside and looked the door over. Without a word, he spun and kicked the door. There was the sound of splintering wood as it tore off its hinges and skidded into the apartment.

Ken peered in the apartment, then looked back at Joe, then looked back at the door. "Neat trick. I don't ever wanna play soccer with you."

Joe shrugged. "Leverage."

As they entered the room, Ryu looked the door over. "Leverage, my ass.." he muttered.

***

**The apartment looked like a train wreck, but there was no sign of the kid, or my client.**

"Geez. If this is the way Jinpei keeps house, we gotta find ourselves another office boy." Joe scratched his head and lit another cigarette.

Ken wandered around the apartment. Something squished under his foot as he stepped on a clump of dirty clothes. His stomach did a half twist, and very carefully, he removed his foot from the pile. "I dunno. Did it look this bad when you left?"

Joe shrugged. "Got me. I didn't come up."

Ken rolled his eyes and saw Ryu look furtively around and stick his hands in his pockets. "Um..? Whatcha got there?"

Ryu smiled broadly. "Who me? Nothin, man, nothin at all. Man. Wow, does this place look even worse than the office..."

Ken sidled up to the bigger man. " Ryu. Buddy. Pal." The cabbie eyed him suspiciously. "You wouldn't be, I dunno, hiding evidence on me, would you?"

"You ain't my buddy. And what's with this evidence? Like you're a cop or somethin..." He got an evil look. "Yeah..look.. I found somethin..." He whipped a hand out of his pocket and held it out of Ken's reach. "but you can't reach it. Too bad.."

"Why you..." Ken threw his weight against Ryu's heavily muscled arm. "Gimme that!!"

"No..g'way..."

"Shut up...both of you." Joe hissed. Ken followed his partner's gaze to the stairwell. Shadows moved across the graffiti covered walls. Carefully, Joe eased the gun out of its holster as Ryu backed towards the window.

The cabbie peered through the dirty glass. "uh-oh. Hey, girlies..we got ourselves a little problem" he whispered. Ken backed up next to him and looked out the window. "Oh, fuck. Where's the fire escape??" He turned as he heard the hammer cock on Joe's gun.

Three men stood in the doorway. Ken thought he recognized them from the Kat's Klub. They weren't wearing their tuxes, now though..but matching green turtlenecked suits. "Back off, assholes." Joe growled at them. Ken held his breath.

Rolf, the club's huge doorman and easily the biggest of the three, snorted and strode into the room. The report from Joe's gun seemed abnormally loud in the littered apartment, and Rolf stopped, clutching his face.

Then he looked up, grinning insanely. The bloodied place where his cheek had been showed the cold gleam of metal and wires. Ken watched horrified as Rolf laughed and backhanded Joe like a ragdoll across the room. The gun skittered across the floor.

"What the fuck?" Ryu looked at Ken wildly.

"Cyborgs. They're goddamn cyborgs..I URK!" Another one of the men had cleared the space between them, before Ken could register it. He lifted Ken up by the collar.

"Metal assholes!" Ryu picked up a splintered section of the doorframe and swung it at the third green-suited man. It shattered against his arm. "SHIT!!"

Ken's vision was beginning to get cloudy on the edges as he struggled against the machine-strength of the cyborg's grip. The green-suited goon was laughing at him. Pleasepleaseplease don't be metal down there.. Ken prayed as he took a wild kick. The man went white and staggered back, coughing as he let Ken go.

"Jerk." Ken gasped as he rubbed his neck and looked around for Joe.

He saw Joe staggering to his feet in the corner. Rolf casually, picked up the gun and crushed it. "I'm gonna do this to you, pretty-boy" he snarled at Joe.

Joe's jaw twitched slightly. "You first." he said softly. There was a loud sound as the cyborg's head snapped back and he fell to the ground. Joe stood over the fallen doorman, fists still clenched. "Ken..we gotta get outta here..."

"Yeah..come on...Ryu..stop fucking around!!" The cabbie knocked his attacker back as they bolted out of the room. Joe started to head down the stairs, the stopped. "SHIT! There's more of them down there!"

Ken suddenly looked as though someone smacked him in the face. "Upstairs..HURRY!!"

Ryu looked around wildly. "UPSTAIRS?? Are you crazy??" But Ken was already racing up the rickety wooden stairs.

"Dumb jackass." Joe spat as he bounded after his partner.

"They're both nuts..I'M nuts..." Ryu panted as he followed, not wanting to be left alone in the stairwell.


	8. Chapter 8

**I kept hearing Jun's voice in my head. I prayed she'd been right**

The roof was six stories off the ground. The three of them looked around as they heard their pursuers coming up after them. Joe hastily threw whatever he could find in front of the door. The fog clung to the building, making the other rooftops look like distant mirages.

"Ken..this is the most boneheaded thing you've ever done. We're cornered up here!" Ken was surprised at the unfamiliar panicked note in Joe's voice.

"No..no we're not." He pulled Nambu's wristbands out.

"Yeah..lovely.. and these are gonna stop those guys??" Ken shook his head and strapped one on his arm.

"Remember what Jun said?"

"What, that she wanted a private dick?!?!?"

"No, you asshole!" Ken slapped a band on Joe. "The old coot found a way to make men fly!! Remember??

Ryu looked back at the doorway as something slammed against it hard. "uh..guys???" Ken threw Ryu another wristband.

Joe backed towards the ledge. "For gods sake...do you even know what to do with these????"

"uh..youse two.." The door bowed again from the impact against it.

"Nope. But I figure it won't matter if I'm wrong..."

"Fine..you two go..I'll hold them off.."

"GUYS!!" Ryu backed away as the door tore apart, and Rolf lurched through.

"No. We all go. Now!" Ken took a deep breath and threw himself off the ledge, grabbing Joe's collar. "KEEEEENNNNNN YOU DIIIIICCCKKK!!"

Ryu cursed and dove after them.

Ken looked at the wristband and thought of the painting with the wheeling birds in the open sky. I don't wanna die!! Not like this!

****

**Then the world caught fire.**

****

Ken felt the ground under his feet and opened his eyes. "What the hell??" He looked over to see Joe landing lightly next to him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. His black helmet and beaked faceplate shone dully in the dim alleyway and his dark-winged cloak almost vanished into the shadows.

Helmet? Cloak? "What???" Ryu landed next to Joe, but with less grace. "What the hell happened to us?? Are we dead??"

Ken looked down at the strange blue and white material covering him. "I..uh..don't think so..Look.. we gotta get out of here.."

They raced for the car, past the dark sedan parked next to it. Joe suddenly stopped dead at the driver's side door, grey eyes widening.

"What? What? Joe we don't have time for this..."

Joe looked back at Ken in horror. "The keys. The keys were in the pocket of my pants." He gestured at the skintight indigo and maroon costume. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PANTS??!?!?"

"oh shit."

"shit." Joe snarled and looked sadly for a moment at the window of the car, before putting his fist through it and unlatching the door.

Ken paused to look back at the building as Joe opened the other door. "They're coming."

"Yeah..I know..now hurry up!! Joe shouted as he ripped the ignition out and started fiddling with the wires.

Ryu clonked his owl-head shaped helmet against the back window of the car, watching the green-suited cyborgs come pouring out. "Man..you better get hurryin with that thing.."

"Be quiet!!" The engine sputtered to life. "Ken, get your ass in here!" Ken dove in and pulled the door shut as Joe jammed the accelerator down.

"Oh damn.."

"What??"

"Got my cape caught in the door." Joe whacked Ken in the helmet. "Doofus. Just figure out how to get our clothes back, okay??"

Ken laughed, then immediately grew solemn. "They have Jun and Jinpei now, too."

"Yeah. I know. Whoever 'they' really are."

Ryu turned towards them. "They're following us. What do we do now, smart guys?"

Ken chewed his lip for a moment. "Keep an eye on them, Ryu. Joe..try and lose them in traffic or something. I think we've gotta pay a visit to the good lady doctor."

****

**I could barely believe what was happening. The three of us had been part of something amazing. Something unheard of! We flew!! I knew it was only a matter of time before I figured out the secrets of Old Nambu's remarkable devices. Somewhere, in the distance, I heard the wail of a police siren. That was a sound you never hear in Oldtown, so I knew we'd be safe, soon.**

"Ken..have you figured out these things yet?" Joe's voice was tense and he kept looking in the rearview mirror.

"Not yet, but almost..I think. Don't worry. It's not like they're gonna do anything to us in broad daylight in the.." he glanced out the window. "shopping district?? Holy cow. How fast are we going??"

Joe looked down at the speedometer. "close to 90. "

"90?!? You're gonna kill someone!!"

"Least of our worries."

Ken felt a knot in his stomach. "What do you mean by that?" He felt Ryu grab his helmet and jerk his head to the side.

"Look in th' mirror man!! The cops are chasing us now!"

"Oh, geez, Joe - pull over!!"

"No!! I'm not pulling over like this!" Joe's voice cracked.

"Joe..we're on the same side as the cops. They'll help us out, once we explain the situation."

"No. I can't. Okay?"

"No. It's not." Ken reached over and jammed his foot down on the brake pedal. The sound of screaming rubber filled the car as the wheels locked. The Mustang lurched and careened wildly across Anderson Boulevard. Joe clenched his teeth and fought the wheel, trying to control the skid. Ryu came flying over the front seat as the car fishtailed and slammed into a shining new Lexus 2066. There was the briefest, stomach-turning loss of gravity, strangely silent as the Mustang went airborne and came down on a newspaper kiosk with a deafening crunch.

Then it was over. There was still the sound of breaking glass, the wail of the sirens and the hum of the motor, but it seemed as quiet as a vacuum.

Ken forced his eyes open. For a moment, he wasn't sure where he was, but that the mattress was awfully lumpy. That, and he was having an terrible time breathing. Then the realization slowly sank in. The car had come down on the drivers side. He was on top of Joe. And then he gasped as he tried to move. "Ryu..get off of me...".

Ryu looked around, dazed. "Holy shit. Man, we should be dead."

"That's nice. We're not. Now get off..Joe's at the bottom of all this." Ken felt Joe stir underneath him. "Joe??"

"I'm okay..I think..." he said thickly.

The sirens were loud outside the car. Then, voices. "Dumb shit kids. No way anyone survived that crash."

"Ken?"

"Yeah, Joe?"

Joe turned his head slightly, and the beaked visor of his helmet whacked into Ken's. "If we get out of this, I'm going to make you wish you'd never been born."

"Yeah, you're okay. Ryu..can you get the door?"

"I think so, man. Hang on." The car rocked as Ryu shifted position. Ken could only imagine the looks on the faces of the police as the door came flying off, clanking onto the sidewalk.

Ken gingerly climbed out of the car, blinking at the hazy light. "Ryu..what th.." he started to ask, as he saw the bigger man standing there, arms up like a scarecrow. He stopped when he heard the clicking sounds behind him.

Turning slowly, Ken saw several of Utoland City's finest, their weapons drawn. Further back, just behind the cops, was the dark sedan.

"Oh...great." he raised his hands.

An NUCPD officer approached cautiously. "Unit 7 to base" he spoke into the mike at his shoulder. "Looks like that reckless driver out of Oldtown was being driven by a couple of clowns in bird suits." He got a little closer, gesturing with the gun for Ken and Ryu to get off the car. "That's what you two are, right? Clowns?"

Ken swallowed nervously, trying not to look down in the car to see what Joe was doing. "Uhm. Actually...actually would you believe..we're the..uh..Amazing Flying Albatross Brothers?? "

A ripple of nervous laughter ran through the cops. Ryu's eyes widened as he turned to look at Ken. "Man...whatchu thinking man? You gonna get us killed!!" He hissed.

Ken forced a smile and clenched his teeth. "I have no fucking idea what I'm doing, alright?"

The officer looked at them with a sort of disgust reserved for people who have just caught their dogs humping their pillow. "Yeah. Right. And I'm the Ostar Bunny. You two just flap your little wings and get your albatross asses down here."

Ken tried to swallow again, but his mouth went dry. "Okay.. But..uh..my friend..is..well, he's still stuck in the..y'know..car."

The cop rolled his eyes. "Oh, for gods sake...there's more of you?" he shook his head "Fine. Great. Get back." Another cop moved up to cover him as the first officer clambered up the car. "And keep those feathers in the air, got it Junior Birdman?"

Ken forced the smile wider. "Yep. No problemo."

The cop climbed into the car as the fire trucks rolled up. There was a brief sound of twisting metal. Then, silence. Panicked, Ken looked down into the car as the other cop started shouting at him to move away. Something came flying out of the car at the cops.

Ken and Ryu scrambled back off the car as they saw the limp cop land on his partner. As Joe dove next to them, Ken whacked him in the helmet. "You didn't.." The bullets started flying, then.

"No. He passed out." Joe growled. "Ryu..gimme a hand with this."

"What?" Ryu out his head down as a bullet pinged off the car.

"We need a diversion. Grab an end of my car."

"Are you nuts? We can't.."

Joe grabbed him by the cape. "Yes. We. Can. Now shut up and grab the axle." He shoved the bigger man towards the car.

Ken looked around wildly. "I got an idea.. Follow me."

Ryu gritted his teeth "Inna..urk..sec..there.." He was amazed when the car began to move. He was even more amazed when he got it to waist height. He couldn't turn his head, but he heard Joe grunt. "Throw the fucker!"

The car went skidding out into the crowded street, as the police scattered, cursing.

"COME ON!" Ken trusted his new instincts and went airborne for the nearest roof.

****

Several rooftops later, they stopped. Panting, Ryu sat back against a chimney. "We gotta stop for a sec, man."

Joe was pacing, looking around every few seconds. "No time."

Ryu glared at him "Then we make time. Maybe you can take this all in stride, man...."

Ken rubbed his eyes under the blue-tinted visor. "Ryu's right, Joe. Let's get our bearings.."

"BEARINGS?!?" Joe turned on him, snarling and stabbing a finger at Ken's chest. "We've got killer cyborgs and pissed off cops after us..Jinpei and OUR CLIENT are missing, we still haven't a fucking clue as to where the old man is, we're stuck in.." he gestured helplessly at the strange outfit. "Fucking latex bird suits..and you wrecked the one thing in this world I actually took pride in!!"

An uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them. Joe rested his hands on his hips and stared, steely-eyed at his partner. The pigeons, disturbed by the strange squawking of the three big birds, resettled on a broken skylight. Somewhere far away through the fog, a siren screamed.

Then Ken blinked, startled. "I've never heard you string so many words together at one time..ever!"

"GAH!" Joe threw his hands in the air and stalked off.

"I can't believe we got fucking cyborgs after us. Man. I thought they were, like, some kinda bullshit wartime propaganda stories t'scare people or somethin..." Ryu sat down heavily on the roof.

Ken shook his head. "Nope. Those machine-men were as real as you are." He had a distant look on his face as sirens grew closer. He watched Joe's dark-winged back pace along the edge of the roof, then sat down next to Ryu. "You could have bailed out a long time back, man. This isn't worth seventy-five bucks." he said, weary.

Ryu made a face and leaned his head back. "Yeah..yeah, I know. I dunno." He plucked at the green fabric. "It don't matter, now. I don't think there's any turning around now." He straightened up and caught Ken looking at him. "What?"

Ken laughed. "Your accent. It..keeps coming and going." He watched Ryu's face for a moment. "You're not really a native of the Caribe states, are you?" He was half prepared to duck an incoming fist, but the cabbie just laughed.

"heh. I guess th secret is out, man. Nah. I grew up over there on Grande Island. " He gestured in the general direction of the Harbor. "Mom. Dad. 2.5 Kids. I always wanted to be something.." he swallowed hard. "something big...anyway..y'know how it is. I got into wrestling..got all the moves. Coach sez to me one day.." he made a stern face "Ryu, he sez to me..Ryu Nortonstein just not all that impressive. You gotta be colorful, man." Ryu shrugged. "And there ya have it. Always dug the Caribe sound, anyway..."

Ken just stared at him for a moment, then laughed. "Don't worry. I won't tell on you."

Ryu put his head down and chuckled. "ey. Thanks. How 'bout you? Youse two don't seem real likely to be palling around...."

Ken looked back over at Joe, who had taken a perch on a crumbling chimney and was staring, unmoving, out at the fog. "He..ah..Joe saved my life." he smiled faintly. "My very..very first case as a PI. It was three years ago. Lady from the 'burbs. Came to me, thought her husband was catting around on her." He shook his head. "Well, there I go..trotting off to the waterfront, following this big ass guy with my little brownie camera." Ken stopped and fidgeted with his helmet. "turned out the guy wasn't having an affair. Bastard was a whack dealer. He was down there picking up a shipment of the crap. Caught me taking pictures."

Ryu's eyes were wide. "Holy shit? No shit, really?"

Ken nodded. "Yep..so there I go, running like a spaz, completely lost. Ended up down a dead end, and" he threw up his hands "SPLAT!" I'm falling over some goddamn smelly wino, landing on my face, with this whack dealer and his buddies breathing down my neck. I thought I was dead. Dead. Jerome..that was the dealer's name..Jerome's got this gun pointed at me, and then .." he rested his hands back on his knees. "out of nowhere, this wino's kicking these guys' asses up and down the alley. All dressed in fatigues, looks like a wild man. And then it's over. He goes staggering back to his dumpster and passes out."

Ryu started to snicker. "Youse guys met inna alley??"

Ken nodded. "Yeah. I owed him my life. I called the cops..they picked up Jerome and his skugs. One helped me dump Joe in a cab. I took him home and started pumping coffee into him." He shrugged. " I just wanted to thank him. When he finally came around I..something just occurred to me and..I just offered him a job. ."

Ken shrugged again and leaned against the chimney. "And that's the story. So..what did you find at Jinpei's place?"

Ryu sat back. "I thought it was another onna dem crystals.." he held out his hand, where it glinted. "But now, I think it's just junk."

Ken picked it up. "Looks like a big, ugly rhinestone...."

Joe finally came stalking back, but his face was calmer. "Got your 'bearings', yet? This is not a safe position to be holding, y'know..."

Ken nodded and got to his feet. "Yeah. If we stick to the high ground, we could probably make Doc Pandora's house in an hour or so."

"And what then, huh? We knock on the door and yell "Trick or treat"?"

"I don't know, Joe. Okay? I just don't know. Happy?!?"

It was Joe's turn too look surprised. "Actually, Ken? Yeah."


	9. Chapter 9

**As we made our way across the city, and into the neat, cookie-cutter burb, I had a sick feeling that wouldn't go away. We had gotten mired in something that was way larger than a simple missing person's case. Whatever had happened to us when we put those wristbands on, was changing us. Even the cabbie...Ryu.... I felt we were looking down a tunnel that stretched for miles into the darkness.**

The Pandora house was a neat, white-shuttered little box on a street of other little boxes. Ken felt utterly lost, looking at the rows of nearly identical homes, but Joe led them unerringly to the correct one. The silence between the two of them hadn't wavered the entire trip.

Ken shook his head. "Cripes, Joe. I wish I had your sense of direction..."

Joe shrugged. "well, you don't. Never will." He glanced up and down the quiet street. In the distance, there was the sound of children playing. "What now?"

Ken straightened the skin-tight outfit as best he could, and threw the winged cloak over his shoulder. "We brazen it out. Maybe she won't notice."

Joe and Ryu both snorted at this. "Ken, I feel like a total jerk in this getup."

Ryu laughed. "Think of it this way, man. At least you ain't built like me. This isn't the most flatterin thing a man wit my powerful physique can wear!"

Joe started to snicker. "right. That's a ..a crying shame" The snickers dissolved into a brief round of snort-filled giggling for the three of them.

Ken straightened himself again. "Okay. C'mon. That's enough."

****

They stood nervously on Doctor Sylvia Pandora's porch as Ken rang the doorbell, again.

(Oh, geez. What if somebody sees us? ) was the unspoken thought they all shared.

Finally, there was the sound of the door unlatching. It opened a crack and a woman's voice wafted out. "What do you want?"

Ken tried to smile. "Doctor Pandora. I don't know if you remember me.."

"Whatever you're selling, I'm not interested."

"No, no...My name's Ken Washio? I'm the PI you hired a little while back?"

The door opened wider. An attractive woman in her mid-forties was staring eye-to-eye with Ken. She looked surprised. "Yes. Uhm..Do come in.." She stepped aside.

Nervously, they stood in her foyer. Sylvia stepped back to look at them. "Going to a costume party in the neighborhood, Mr. Washio?" She smiled thinly.

"No..urhm..actually..we came to ask you about a frog, ma'am."

Sylvia blanched and looked up the stairs. She motioned for them to follow her into the living room.

"Please. Sit." She seated herself primly on the edge of the couch. They followed suit. "What do you want to know?" There was a waver in her voice.

"Doctor.." Ken said gently, struggling to pull the right words together. "We're on a case..looking for a Doctor Kozoburo Nambu." At Nambu's name, her face went a little whiter. "We found a crystal..inside a frog ashtray, like the one you gave me and Joe.."

She put her head down in her hands. "So you finally figured it out about them." she said after a few moments.

Ken and Joe exchanged a look that said THEM?!? She didn't seem to notice. "When they returned my little girl to me..they said I had to help them, or else, she'd never be safe."

Ken coughed, trying to think. "Well, they've got Nambu, and we think his daughter, and a friend of ours...please..can you help us?"

Sylvia laughed harshly. "Nambu they can keep, the old goat.... I told them about him and his damn research. I really hoped they'd take the bastard back to Huntworl with them . But I don't want to see anymore young people hurt."

"Huntworl?" It slipped out before Ken could stop himself.

She stared at him, eyebrow arched. "You didn't know? Oh, gods." She put her head down again. "The organization calls itself Galactor. I spoke with one of their leaders once or twice..never saw him...he had a funny accent....They say they're patriots. Trying to rebuild Huntworl. HAH. I think they're just a bunch of terrorists. They follow someone they call the Overlord"

There was the sound of movement from upstairs, and she quieted. From somewhere, there was a little girl's wan voice. "Momma? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Sammie-dear. Just the TV, hon. Go back to bed."

"Okay, Momma."

Sylvia stood up. "They always had me meet them at a warehouse on the docks." she said quietly. "Its for the company that exports the frogs."

"Granny X's Handicrafts." Ryu blurted out, startled, but Sylvia nodded. "You're right, Now, please..go."

They stood to leave. As they were leaving, Ken turned to her. "Why did you give us that frog, Doctor?"

"Because I'd hoped it would make you suspicious or curious enough to find out where it came from. They have to be stopped, Mr. Washio." She opened the door. ".....please. There's no one I can trust."

***

**For the first time since this case began, my heart felt lighter. We had a purpose...a mission of sorts. I stood proud against the rushing wind, and for that moment, I knew how the mighty eagle felt approaching his prey.**

"GURK!" Joe was barely able yank Ken down as the Utolines CrossCity bus passed under a bridge.

"What is your problem?? Are you trying to get decapitated or something?" Joe whacked him in the helmet. "'Mighty eagle' my latex covered ass....."

"Well it was Ryu's idea to take the bus..." Ken groused.

Ryu turned to wave to a passerby as the bus sped down UN Boulevard. "Seein as how you've managed to trash two cars in two days, man, I thought dis might not be so bad.."

Joe whacked Ryu in the helmet too. "And you.. Am I the only one who remembers the cops? It's bad enough we're riding on the roof of the crosstown bus..do you have to act like it's a parade float?" he growled. "Come on..we're not exactly inconspicuous in this crap..."

Ryu huffed and looked back at the passing streets. "Our stop be comin up soon, looks like. That warehouse was on Bay, right?" Ken nodded then turned to look at the city lights.

"Oh, gods. I just hope we haven't wasted too much time.."

They leaped off the roof as it turned down Bay Street. Other than the fading rumble of the bus engine, it was weirdly quiet. They looked down the poorly-lit line of prefab metal and fiberglass structures.

Despite the worry he was feeling, Ken was coming to enjoy the new instincts and abilities growing in him. Even Ryu was silent as they crept along the row of warehouses. Joe stopped them as they came on "Granny X's ". "Lemme scout ahead." he whispered.

Ken looked at him, puzzled. "Why?"

Joe gave Ken the "You're an idiot look". "I'm the only one in dark colors. I'll blend in. You two look like snowcones."

Ken snorted. "Well, Ryu's outfit is pretty d.." he stopped when he saw the dead serious expression on Joe's face. "Okay...Just..be careful, please?"

Joe nodded, pleased, and vanished into the darkness.

As they sat on a dumpster waiting for him to get back, Ryu turned to Ken. "Y'know..youse two are th worst detectives I've ever seen."

Ken just glared at him.

***

Aside from the garish sign, Granny X's warehouse looked no different than any other. The eerie orange glow of the mercury vapor streetlights gave it an unearthly quality, though. As he approached, Joe could see the loading dock doors were now shut tight.

Joe desperately wished he had a gun as he ghosted up to a side door. He knew he didn't really need it, but just the weight of it in his hand would have been a comfort.

There were no guards out front. That bothered him. Quickly, he looked around, scanning the shadows for something, anything that might have been a danger. Silence hung like a heavy blanket over the place.

Gingerly, he reached for the door handle. His gloved fingers closed on the cold metal.

And faint but distinct, there was a metallic chuckle. Slowly, Joe turned towards the sound, and his eyes met Rolf's ruined face.

"Brother, you just made one really big mistake."

***

Another thing Ken was noticing about the bird suits, was that after more than fifteen minutes of sitting on a cold, wet dumpster, his butt was not the slightest bit clammy.

"He's been gone an awfully long time, man..." Ryu half-whispered, straining to look at the warehouse.

"Yeah, I know. Come on." He hopped off the dumpster. "Probably got his head bashed in by a chair again." Ken rested his hands on his hips "Hey, wha..?"

Ryu squinted at him "Whassup?"

Ken laughed "Check it out..little pockets." he flipped up the top of one of the small waist pouches and pulled out his knife. "Oh..cool..I didn't lose this...wonder how it got in there?" he opened another one and plucked out what looked for all the world like a marble.

"What's that?"

Ken shrugged. "A marble? Dunno." He checked another pouch. "Well, I still got the wristbands, too...hmmm.." Swiss Army knife in hand, Ken closed the pouches and started off towards the warehouse. "Let's go."

***

**The warehouse looked deserted on the outside. Even with the changes these suits brought, I couldn't detect any movement. All of my nerves were on hair triggers as we approached, because it was quiet...too quiet.**

Ken turned his head to look back at Ryu. "What?"

"D'you do that all the time, man?"

"Oh, shut up..."

***

**Moments later, we were on the roof. I couldn't believe the ease with which we were doing this. Through a grimy skylight, Ryu and I looked down. The first thing I saw was my partner. Chained to a pile of crates, he looked like a specimen in someone's insect collection.**

"What the hell...?" Ryu whispered as they leaned against the window.

"I dunno..." Ken breathed on the glass, trying to clean a spot. "I see Joe,..but..wait...what...?"

"It's that purple bastard what tried to drown us, man..."

"so..HE'S behind this..the Purple Mask." Ken pounded his fist on his thigh. "Who would have guessed...underworld kingpin..enemy agent..."

"Did you useta write them pulp novels or somethin before ya got into the PI biz?"

Ken glared at him and pressed against the glass. "Look...there's Jun and Jinpei. they're alive!" his voice cracked.

"It looks like they're drinkin lemonade.."

"Huh?" Ken straightened his cloak. "Probably poisoned with some kind of mind control agent or something."

"okay..yeah..riiight.."

Ken stood up, and threw his cape over one shoulder. "Right, then. This is what we're gonna do. We are going through this skylight. We'll catch them unawares, kick all of their butts, free everybody, rescue the doctor and shut this fucking operation DOWN!" On "down" he stomped on the skylight.

"owowowowowowowowowwwwwwwSHIT!" He fell on the still intact skylight, holding his foot. "plexiglass..owwwwww!"

Ryu sighed and rolled his eyes as he lifted the skylight off its frame. "So much fer th suprise entrance..."

"Never mind.. LET'S GO!"


	10. Chapter 10

Rolf hadn't beaten him up too badly, Joe mused as he was thrown against a heavy crate filled with frog ashtrays and chained in place. Somewhere off to his left, he heard a familiar woman's voice. He craned his neck to see Jun and Jinpei, guarded by a Kat's Klub waitress wearing a weird blue mask. She had a rose tucked behind one ear. "You're not getting away with this." Jun was saying. "You WILL be stopped. Mark my words..." She sounded deadly serious. "I...huh?" her voice trailed off as she saw Joe. "What the heck?"

Jinpei's eyes got like saucers. "aniki??" The armed waitress shoved him into a seat. Another brought a tray of lemonade and cookies. "Snack?" she asked brightly.

Joe sighed and turned his head back to face the purple masked figure in front of him.

"So..you shall see what Galactor does to intruders, Herr...?" When Joe didn't answer, the bizarre purple mask bobbed with a chuckle. "No name? Then I will call you mien vogel, ja?"

More softly, then. The Purple Masque leaned very close to Joe. "What are you doing here..Herr Asakura? And in such outlandish clothing?"

Joe looked archly at the purple clad figure in front of him. "Like you should talk." he muttered.

A screen on the opposite wall, below a slowly turning exhaust fan, flickered to life, and the masked men and women in the room kneeled briefly. The wiggly, distorted image appeared and Joe gritted his teeth as it started to speak.

"I will hear your report now, Masque." The voice still had the quality of a small dog caught in a blender.

The Masque rose and tried unsuccessfully to straighten the unwieldy cloak over his suit. "Well, your eminence..almost all of Nambu's plans are packaged and ready for shipment to Huntworl. We now also have the added bonus of one of his prototype suits.." He gestured broadly at Joe.

The figure on the screen laughed. Joe noticed he wasn't the only one wincing. "Excellent, Masque. You have not failed me. Soon..soon we will...HUH?" There was a sharp whack from the roof. Everyone looked up. Joe groaned.

Two winged figures glided down and landed in the center of the room to a chorus of cocking rifles.

"Okay Purple Mask..You're through!" Ken pointed his knife at the Masque, who snorted.

"And who are you?" he sneered.

"Uh...I..I..am the Mighty Eagle..the white shadow that slips in unseen, the ghost that walks like a man.."

Ryu leaned towards Ken and Joe heard him whisper "that's de Phantom, man"

"Whatever. Purple Mask, you're going down."

The Masque laughed. "Really? I'm going to have you killed, now."

Ken flung the marble on the floor. "Not likely."

It clattered on the concrete and rolled a few feet.

It just sat there.

"Very droll."

"Oh, fuck."

Then it exploded into a dense cloud of billowing smoke.

Joe pulled on the heavy chains as he heard the sounds of a fight breaking out. He felt the crate behind them start to give, when suddenly, one of the chains fell away. Joe filed it away, promising to be surprised later. He tore his other arm free, when Ryu appeared out of the smoke. "Be needin some help, man??"

"No, but thanks, anyway..Where's Ken??" Ryu jerked a thumb back at the cloud as Ken came gasping through the smoke followed by a hail of bullets pinging off the wall. They all ducked.

Rolf materialized through the smoke clutching his gun. When he saw Joe free, he laughed. It had a hollow, metallic quality, clattering like the gun as he dropped it to the concrete floor. "When are you gonna give up? You can't stop me."

Joe just stood there, watching him.

The cyborg got closer. "I liked kicked your ass in the parking lot, pretty boy. I'll kick it again here. Do you know what I am?"

"A giant vibrator with legs?" Joe sneered.

He snarled at Joe. "I'm a Vulcan Series Gold Full Cybernetic Replacement. Top of the line. For that, I'm gonna rip your fucking head off, orders or no!" With a digitized howl, he threw himself at Joe.

Ken winced at the crunching sound as Joe jackhammered Rolf in the face. "I'm not impressed."

As he crumpled to the ground, Joe took the gun, and pumped three rounds into the sparking remains of the cyborg's head. "Gold just ain't worth that much these days, is it?"

Eyes wide, Ken nodded. "Smoke's starting to clear. Right. You two go after that Mask character. I'll free Jun."

"Had to figure THAT was going to happen." Joe smirked. Ken glared at him. "Go?"

***

**I could see her, sitting on the chair, clutching her glass. Her green eyes were wide. I imagine I looked like some kind of an angel, appearing through the white haze to the music of machine gun fire.**

The waitress plucked the rose from her hair. The hazy light gleamed off it's razor edged stem as she slid it against Jun's cheek. "Back off, bird boy. Back off or sister here gets it." She smiled cruelly and ruffled Jun's hair.

"Okay..uhm..let's not be hasty..we can work this out..." Ken tried to swallow.

Jun stared at him, then at the waitress, then back at him. "My hair! Oh, for the love of..." she turned and smashed the glass in the waitress's face. The woman screamed and wildly flung the rose, clutching at her face with her free hand. Ken threw the first thing he could grab as the rose bounced off his helmet, and she slumped to the ground, dead.

Jun looked at the Swiss Army knife sticking out of the waitress's throat. "Ken?" She asked incredulously as she looked back at him.

"ANIKI?? So that WAS Joe chained to the wall??" Jinpei stared at him too.

"Uh..yeah.. Come on..let's get you out of here.." He felt a bullet whiz past his head, and heard it ricochet off the wall.

Jun put her hand up. "Not so fast, bub...where'd you find Daddy's prototypes?"

Ken rolled his eyes. "In the lab..Now come on?" Another bullet pinged off the wall near Jinpei.

Jun shook her head. "Uh-uh. Give me one of the bracelets. Daddy's here, somewhere." She held out her hand.

Ken grumbled, but handed it too her. She clipped it on and brought her arm up. "One more thing..how did you get them to work?"

Ken shrugged. "They just did..Can we go..PLEASE???"

Jun sighed and brought her arm up. "BIRD GO!" Ken involuntarily took a step back as Jun was engulfed by light. Is that what we look like?? When it faded she stood before him in a sleek pink and white costume. Definitely more revealing than his own. "Let's go find Daddy!"

Jinpei grabbed Ken's arm "You..uh.. wouldn't happen.." Ken thrust the last wristband at him. "Here. Just take it already."

"COOL!!! uh...oh, yeah.. BIRD GO!"

***

**We raced like the wind through the labyrinthine confines of the warehouse as the machine gun fire faded behind us. I felt certain now that Joe and Ryu would be able to take care of themselves. I felt as though we could do anything.**

Soon, they reached a strange, heavy door. It was unlike anything else in the place. Jun leaned against it. "This must be it. We have to get in here!"

Ken looked at his blood spattered knife. "This is all I've got. I don't think.."

Jun made an exasperated noise. "I just can't believe you got this far...." She fished out a small cylinder and stuck it to the door. "Stand back!"

The whole building rocked from the explosion, and the huge door thudded to the ground. Jun grabbed Ken and Jinpei's arms. "Come on!!"

Ken stared at her. "How did you DO that?"

She laughed. "I paid attention to Daddy's work."

They dashed into a room filled with strange blinking lights. A figure in a blue lab coat was hunched over a table. Jun gasped. "Daddy? DADDY!!" The man looked up. "Oh, yes. Hello, pumpkin." Then went back to work.

"Daddy?" Jun blinked in surprise.

Ken tapped the man on the shoulder. "uhm.. Doctor Nambu..sir? My name is Ken Washio..we're here to .." Ken looked around at the lab. "uh..rescue you?"

Nambu pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at Ken. "Rescue me? Oh..yes. Thank you young man.."

"aniki?" Jinpei whispered.

"Not now, kid" Ken absently gestured at Jinpei. "Are you alright, sir?"

"Yes fine. Such wonderful equipment they have here. Sorry to see it go. What did you say your name was?"

"Daddy!"

"uh..Aniki??"

"Not now, Jinpei.. Ken Washio, Sir..."

"Washio...you're not with the ISO, are you? No...related to that Red Impulse fellow?"

"Daddy!! We have to go!!"

"ana..oh bugger..KEN!!"

"WHAT?!?!?" Ken rolled his eyes, exasperated.

Ken followed to where Jinpei was pointing at. Snoogums hunched there, snarling and drooling. Its little collar sparkled in the flickering lights, one of the gaudy rhinestones missing.

Jun knelt down. "Snoogums!!" She held her white-gloved hands out to the little dog.

"You think you've beaten me..But you haven't.. You haven't!! NYA-HA-HA-HA!!" The poodle shrilled.

They all looked at each other. "Jun..did your dog just talk?"

"uhm.."

"Of course I talked, you winged MORON!! I am X, overlord of the new Empire of Huntworl..Lord of the Select..supreme achievement of their glorious bioengineering...and I will be your master!!! NYA-HA-HA-HA..."

"You? YOU'RE the ..overlord????"

"Yes." Ken's eye twitched as it yapped..

"Jinpei..get that damn dog." Jinpei carefully approached the snarling pink poodle.

"Naughty snoogums..how could you! Mummy takes good care of you, and all you can do is talk about taking over the world."

"DON'T CALL ME SNOOGUMS!!" the dog shrieked. There was a burst of brilliant light and a loud popping sound.

When the light cleared, there was only the sparkling collar, glinting in the lab's lights.

****

**Eyes still hurting, we made our way back down to the warehouse level. All we could see was dust, goons, and shattered frogs. And at the center? There was the cabbie..my friend..Ryu.**

"Eyy..what took youse so long??" Ryu laughed as he slammed a green-suited goon into a pile of crates. There was the brittle clatter of breaking pottery as a tide of ruined frog ashtrays poured over the unconscious man. "Pretty lady..you look like an angel."

Jun blushed. Ken glared at him. "Where's Joe?"

Ryu shrugged. "He told me to cover him, dan he went after that purple fruitcake." As Ryu finished, there were two shots from outside. They all ran to the door, to see Joe standing there, holding a purple cloak.

"It's over."

"I DON'T THINK SO!!!" Lord X's voice shrieked from a large speaker. "YOU'RE DEAD...ALL OF YOU!! DEAD DEAD DEAD.. HAH!!"

They gathered together as steel blast doors began to clang shut over the doorways. Joe clapped his hands over his helmet to try to block out the shrilling. "GAH! That voice again!! Who the fuck is that?"

"IN 30 SECONDS, THIS PLACE GOES UP LIKE A ROMAN CANDLE!! BYE-BYE, DOCTOR NAMBU...WHAT A SHAME..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!" The speaker shut off with a squeal. For a moment, there was only silence and the lazy thump of the exhaust fan.

"Jun's dog." Ken said dryly.

"Oh." Joe looked around. "We're not getting out through those doors."

Ken looked up. "Then we go out the way Ryu and I got in."

"25 seconds, guys!" Jinpei's voice was shaking. "Can we go?"

"It's too high..we can't make it.." Ryu sounded afraid, as well.

"You guys.." Jun tsked and pulled what looked like a compact out of her waist pouch. She flung it up to the ceiling, and it attached to the skylight frame, trailing cable out behind it. She gave it an experimental tug, nodded and clipped it to herself. "Hop on, boys. This should support all of us.."

All of them except Joe grabbed on to the cable. "Joe..20 seconds..come on!!" Joe shook his head. "You go! It won't support me, too...really."

Ryu grunted and grabbed Joe by the neck of his cape. "We don' have time fer this..GO!!!" Jun flicked a small switch, and they rocketed skyward.

Even though the cable was moving fast, it seemed like forever. Jinpei was still counting, clinging to Ken's shoulders. "15...14..."

They clambered onto the roof on 6. Hanging on to Nambu, they hit the parking lot at 4. The building blew up as Jinpei was saying "2 ". The explosion threw them across the asphalt, as metal and fiberglass shrapnel littered the area. Ken threw himself over the doctor, praying the suit would protect them both as the blast of superheated air rolled over them.

Then it was over. After the bone jarring explosion, the dull roar of the flames was almost soothing. Slowly, they began to sit up, dusting debris off of each other. It started to rain again.

The doctor adjusted his glasses as he swayed, unsteadily. "Oh, my....."

Ken helped Jun to her feet and dusted off her shoulders. "You..you were pretty amazing, back there."

She smiled at him. "You weren't so bad yourself, 'mighty eagle'" she giggled and leaned forward to kiss him. Ken closed his eyes and they whacked visors. She giggled again. "Maybe later, then...my hero..."

Jinpei got to his feet and straightened his helmet out. "OH WOW!! That was so totally cool!!" He looked around at the shaken faces of the others. "We have GOT to do this again!!"

Joe and Ken looked tiredly at each other. Ken started to say something, but then stopped as the whine of distant sirens approached. "We'll talk about it later, kiddo."

***

**We made our way back to the office,(alright, AFTER Jun showed us how to turn off the bird suits) and I felt good. On the way back to the office, we pondered what had happened. Nambu explained that the Purple Masque had assured him the crystals were a data storage medium, so Nambu's work could be safely shipped to Huntworl where he'd continue his work. Not wanting to die, Nambu had agreed. When I told him we still had one of the frogs, the old coot's head nearly flew off he got so excited. Then he explained we'd have to turn it over to the ISO for research. I didn't care. I really felt good. I felt as though we had just added a bright new chapter in the seedy book of stories about the half-naked city.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

EPILOGUE

Joe rolled his eyes and took a seat on the window ledge, staring out into the rainy night. He looked back briefly, when he heard Ken start talking.

Ken had moved to take the wristband off, saying "Well, sir...I guess we should be giving these back to you?"

Nambu just held his head and groaned. "Don't bother, Mr. Washio. They're useless to anyone but you five now."

Even Jun looked startled by this. "Daddy, what are...?"

Nambu groaned again. "The device configures itself to it's individual wearer's biorhythms. Permanently." He lifted his head to look at Ken, then Joe, then Ryu, then Jinpei, before putting it down and groaning again. "I managed to assemble a team of highly trained young people to test them out. Now..NOW...I'm stuck with the four of you..and you, my little princess." He made a small disgusted sound. "I'll just have to tell Mark and the others they're out of a job. The rest of you are just going to have to let me run some tests on you."

Joe abruptly got up. "No way. I am NOT a lab rat, Doc. No one runs me through a maze." The others nodded in agreement.

Nambu grew flustered "but..but.." Jun patted him on the shoulder. "Now, Daddy..think of my problems, too? My dog is bent on world domination."

Ken sat back, thoughtful. "Perhaps we can work out something on a per diem basis?"

Joe laughed. "I'm gonna go outside for a smoke. Back in a few..."

Ken's mouth dropped. "You're going OUTSIDE? What brought this on?"

"Well, seeing as how our ashtray is federal property, now..."

"Oh..yeah.."

Joe closed the door behind him, as Ken and Nambu started to bicker over costs, and headed down the grimy, narrow stairwell. It was raining heavier now. He grumbled at the rain and put the cigarette in his mouth. The grumbling turned to cursing as the lighter clicked ineffectually.

A ripple of soft, husky laughter broke his train of thoughts. He turned as Kat walked up next to him. She wore a long, pearlescent vinyl trenchcoat. In one gloved hand was a large umbrella, in the other, a mother-of -pearl lighter. She held it out to him. "May I?" She wore no makeup, and looked maddeningly androgynous in the flickering neon lights.

Joe leaned forward to accept the light, then rested back on the doorframe. She smelled of roses in the rain, a faint musk. "We're even now." Kat nodded and lit a long cigarette off the end of Joe's. "I suppose we are."

They stood there in silence for several minutes, trying to look at everything except each other. Finally, Joe cleared his throat. "Well. I..I guess I'll never see you again? Seems like we're on opposite sides.."

Kat's laughter was a man's. "Joe...if there's but one thing my life has taught me..it's that there are no absolutes." She dropped the cigarette and ground it out on the sidewalk. Then she reached forward and brushed a strand of his hair back. "Until next time, liebchen." Her smile caught the bright headlights of a passing car, luminous in the gloom.

Joe leaned forward to kiss her, but she gracefully backed away, lightly pressing her finger to his lips. Joe briefly looked past her at the gleaming white limousine that had pulled up to the corner. She turned and vanished into its depths, not stopping to look back at him.

His eyes followed the car until it vanished in the press of traffic.

***

Jinpei was chewing on a pencil when Ken wandered into the back office. "Hey, kiddo..Jun's offered to spring for some takeout for everyone.." He paused, looking in amazement at the flickering screen in front of Jinpei. "Heyyy! You got the TV in here to work!"

The kid snorted and rolled his eyes. "TV? Didn't the keyboard ever tip you off that this was a computer?"

"A computer? We have a computer?"

Jinpei sighed. "Anikiiii....you never wondered about the Utoland Online bills?"

Ken sat on the desk. "Uhm..truthfully, Joe and I thought they were the cable bills."

"Oh,man..you two blow my mind." he pointed at the screen. "I did some research for you, on the net"

"How do you know how to do this??"

"Hey! A kid's gotta eat somehow. Can't survive on what you shmucks pay me..'sides, I feel like a member of the team, now..not just your janitor..y'know?" He tapped the pencil eraser on the screen. "Ya wanna know what I found?"

"Free porno on the web?"

"Anikiii.....No! That nightclub..it was partially owned by some eurotrash playboy named Berg Katze."

"Yeah, so?"

"Soooo...That warehouse? The land is owned by Trend Realty..a partially-owned subsidiary of Galacorp."

"The pharmaceutical megacorp?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And guess who's on the board of directors of Galacorp?"

"Uhm...."

"Ken!" Jun's voice drifted back. "Do you and Jinpei want to look at the menu?"

***

The TV flickered in the outer office as Jun and Ryu squabbled over the remote. As Ken walked out of the back office, they settled on GNN. "...g Katze, at a press conference Tuesday, announced that 40% of profits from the sale of Relavin, the successor to Prozac, would be used for famine relief in Central Europ...He."

"Obviously, you're not a candidate for that."

"'Eyy, missy. Dis be all muscle."

Jun's eyes darted back to the screen, where a slender, pale-haired man was speaking. "Mmmm..he's cute...."

Ken picked up the menu and stared at the flickering screen. "Who's the eurotrash on the box?"

"Berg Katze...he's involved with Galacorp..I think..I saw him on 'Lifestyles' last week..."

Ken snatched the remote away from Ryu, and turned the volume up. "'eeyy, whatchu doing?" Ken gestured absently at him. "Shaddup." Joe walked in and shook the rain from his hair. "A menu? Cool....." He plucked the menu out of Ken's hand, and watched the TV for a few moments. "Why are we watching GNN?" he whispered.

Ken elbowed him "Shut up...I'm listening..."

Joe swatted him with the menu while the others chatted. "To what?"

Ken gestured at the screen. "I swear I've heard that voice before..."

Jun glanced up. "Ken..he's always in the newsreels or mags..third or fourth richest man in the world..deposed former noble from Eastern Europ....single too, from what I understand..." she smiled absently.

The doctor wandered out of their bathroom. "I say, pumpkin..shouldn't we be going?"

Ken chewed on his lower lip and squinted his eyes. "No. I just heard it...I.." his eyes widened and he snapped his fingers. "My tape recorder! It's voice activated..I bet it got the Purple Mask on there!!" he dug it out of his coat pocket, and pushed in the little orange "play" button, hands shaking. Everyone grew quiet.

"KkkZZZkk..shio, Ken Washio. I'm a Pizzzzzkkkkhhh...*"

Your Receipt Thank you for your business  
================================================================   
(1) 1996 Mustang Cobra (FULLY RESTORED, MAN!!!) $10,000   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
(1) 2066 Lexus SV Gold Package (whoops! Ken's fault)[[WAS NOT!!]] $45,000   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
(16,000) Ceramic Frog ashtrays (they were ugly anyways) $22,00   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
(1) Warehouse (Bad Location) $1,070,026   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
Joe's Guns (NO!!! - Ken) $600   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
(3) mini cassette tapes $1.79   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
(1) 2050 Fordsubishi Checker Cab $17,508 (what about my FARE???? - Ryu)   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
(3) Dinners at the Kat's Klub (what was that stuff??) $316 + tip   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
Total uhmm....   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
Notes: Do we have to pay for the cop cars??? (NO!!!- That's your tax-yen at work!)

[end casefile one. Thank you. Have a nice day.]


End file.
